President's Day Bash-Scottsdale, AZ
3CupFlip Tournament at the Luxor Las Vegas
St. Patrick's Day South Boston Parade-Sponsored by 3CupFlip
End of the Party Best Party of the Summer
Andrew Sq. South Boston
Labor Day Weekend 2013
Memorial Day Party-Sponsored by 3CupFlip
8 Team Tournament-October 2013 South Boston, MA
Dallas, TX Labor Day
Party of the Decade II-July 2014
New Hampshire
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you
too'.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .